If the Tea Party has its way, it will represent the North Bronx in Congress come 2011.

Hey! Stop laughing. That’s rude. And anyway, you never know…when I was in high school, a guy ran for and won a seat on my town’s council under the Bull-Moose Party flag. So even though the Tea Party and Southern New York seem as unlikely of a match as a Red Sox fan and proper diction (dude, zing), it’s important to take this guy seriously.

His name is Anthony Melé. He was in the army. He mentions that a lot. He’s patriotic. He mentions that a lot, too. He’s actually from the South Bronx. He doesn’t mention that a lot. He lives in Rockland County, where he lost a 2007 election for Ramapo Town Supervisor — by a lot.

The header for his website (www.meleforcongress.com), lists the three most important things you should know about him.

• U.S. Army Veteran
• Patriot
• Constitutionalist

Yup, he’s a “Constitutionalist.”

Let’s take a look at some of his YouTube campaign videos. How about Melé on immigration?

First of all, you’ve gotta love that it starts with a drum major solo. Now that’s patriotic.

But that’s nothing compared to the money quote at 1:16. “If it isn’t possible to sneak into Disney World, how is it possible to sneak into the United States?”

Wow. Now that’s asking the tough question. I mean, surely if they can keep rascally budget-minded tourists out of Disney World’s 40-square miles, then the U.S. should have no problem keeping desperate employment/better-life-seeking immigrants from crossing our 1,969 miles of Mexican borderland. That just makes sense.

Some video production notes for the Melé staff (just trying to help out):

• In your video, you go back and forth between two shots — the audio would have us believe this was one seamless dialogue — but in one shot Melé is standing, and in the other he’s sitting.
• Also, it’s weird that in the “sitting” shot he starts each sentence looking in Linda’s direction, before turning and facing the camera. If I was Linda I would’ve been like “WTF, man? You’re supposed to be talking to me.”

In this next Melé classic, he’s talking to “Irene” about abortion. It’s kinda funny though, Irene seems to have the exact same porch as Linda (from the video above). The 17th must be crazy homogeneous, yo. Check it out:

But the real kicker is the campaign commercial from his website. It includes what may someday be known as the single best quote in New York campaign history.

At 1:27 — “I’ve provided security services to war-torn Africa, the Middle East, Israel and hot spots around the globe,” said Melé in his video. “I fall in love with America every time I return from one of those UNCLEAN NATIONS.”

Now that’s just worldly.

And Eliot Engel calls himself a baseball fan.

I once swore on the hallowed memory of Lou Gehrig that I would never trust a Mets fan from the Bronx, so I’m definitely a little biased on this issue (I have it on good authority that Engel roots orange and blue)….but it bothers me that Engel hasn’t joined Bronx congressional colleague Jose Serrano in calling for Major League Baseball to move next year’s All-Star game from Phoenix, if Arizona doesn’t repeal its new immigration law.

Now, there is no MLB team in Engel’s district, so in that regard he’s clear. But he does represent a significant Hispanic population, and often speaks out on immigration issues.

Furthermore, Engel talks baseball a lot. When you Google Search Engel press releases that include reference to baseball, you get three pages of results.

Some of his baseball-related press releases:

• The one where he asked Major League Baseball to prevent players and coaches from using smokeless tobacco
• How about when he used a baseball analogy to criticize attempt to change filibuster rules mid-filibuster
• Don’t forget about that one where he recommended new steroid rules
• Or that other steroid one
• Ah, yeah, the one where he wanted the Subcommittee on Telecommunications to get involved with a YES Network broadcast issue
• Oh! That reference to baseball’s anti-trust exemption during the health care debate

This is the perfect way to show support for America’s Hispanic community (and therefore his own Hispanic constituents), while not risking the appearance of “meddling” in Arizona’s affairs.

A teaser for next week

Could it be that Engel doesn’t want to give his new Tea Party challenger ammunition? Check back next week to find out….

If President Obama and Eliot Engel are at odds over one thing in particular, it’s Syria.

In the debate over Syrian diplomacy, the man who waited half a day to shake hands with President Obama at the State of the Union address, has been anything but friendly with the Prez.

Engel has sided with most Republican lawmakers (and a few Democrats) in opposing Obama’s appointment of an ambassador to Syria, whom the United States severed diplomatic relations with in 2005. In February — when Obama announced the move — Engel told the Jerusalem Post it was a “mistake.”

But the nomination process continued, essentially unhampered, until the scud news….

Here’s the deal:

• Earlier this month Israel accused Syria’s government of providing the radical Islamic group Hezbollah with scud missiles, capable of striking anywhere in Israel.
• Then, on Wednesday the U.S. Assistant Secretary for Near Eastern Affairs told a House of Representatives Foreign Affairs panel that, ““If these reports are true I’d argue that Syria made a mistake. Syria has made mistakes in the past. We need to have an access to the leadership in Syria in order to voice our concerns. We need to deliver our message to [Bashar al-Assad, the President of Syria] loud, clear and directly. We would like the ambassador to be conformed and placed now. I disagree that sending an ambassador is a reward.”
• On Thursday, Engel and Rep. Mark Kirk (R-Ill) introduced a resolution calling for the tightening of restrictions against Syria.
  

Engel’s statement, via UPI:

“This transfer of these highly lethal
 weapons … endangers American as well as 
Israeli lives, destabilizes the Middle East and is an existential threat 
to Israel and the independence of Lebanon,” Engel said in a statement.

He urged U.S. President Barack Obama to reconsider naming an ambassador to Syria and “enforce all existing sanctions against Syria.”

U.S. lawmakers put pressure on Syria

Used to be, America’s phone lines were a lawless frontier town. Just about any unknown stranger could bust through your phone’s saloon doors and pretend to be somebody else.

That was before Rep. Eliot Engel came to town, guns a-blazin’.

Yep, it was high noon Wednesday when Engel mosied down mainstreet flashing a polished sheriff’s badge, spurs and H.R. 1258 the “Truth in Caller I.D. Act of 2009” — the latest in anti-“spoofing” legislation. You see, Engel had seen one too many outlaws “spoofing.” That is, using false Caller Identification to trick unsuspecting homesteaders into giving away their personal information. So he did what any lawman would do, he got enough support to pass a bill in the House by voice vote.

Sheriff Engel likes to tell a story about spoofers. The way he (and various news reports from 2009) tells it, a group of Queens bandits who used fake Caller I.D.s managed to steal $15 million from over 6,000 American settlers. The authorities wrangled that gang of Queens varmints, but Engel vowed he’d make it tough for posers to copy their scheme.

Now, know this youngeon, Engel ain’t no fool. If you don’t want your Caller I.D. to say your name, that’ll still be OK after his bill becomes law. H.R. 1258 is a weapon that’s only meant to target thugs and conmen. The Associated Press says, “The legislation would only outlaw the use of spoofing technology when the intent is to deceive and harm the recipient of the call. Legitimate uses of the technology, such as a domestic abuse shelter changing its number to protect an occupant of the shelter, would still be permitted.”

It was high noon, and Engel brought his legislative guns.

It’s been a big few weeks for Rep. Eliot Engel’s phone bills (I leave it to you to decide whether the pun was intended) (hint: it was).

Engel’s Calling Card Consumer Protection Act (H.R. 3993) passed unanimously through a subcommittee two weeks ago, and his Truth in Caller ID Act (H.R. 1258) could hit the House floor this week. Engel has been trying for years to pass legislation that would regulate how certain kinds of phone-based business is conducted.

The Calling Card Bill

The calling card bill would crack down on misleading and overpriced calling cards by requiring “accurate and reasonable disclosure of the terms.” It’s an issue that bears extra importance in urban areas and other places with large Hispanic populations. According to the non-profit Hispanic Institute, calling card scams “disproportionately harm Hispanics, particularly new arrivals to the United States and those without well-developed English skills. Prepaid phone cards have surfaced as a cost-effective option for new immigrants to stay in touch with family members abroad.”

The Bronx, which is represent in-part by Engel, is over 50% Hispanic.

On a personal note — one of my very first reporting assignments was on an earlier Calling Card Consumer Protection Act that Engel authored. That bill passed the house in 2008, but failed to make it to the President’s desk before that session of Congress expired. Unfortunately, the current incarnation of that bill risks suffering the same fate. The current session of Congress expires in seven months.

The Caller ID Bill

Engel’s Caller ID Bill has a much better chance of making it to President Obama. The bill has already passed the Senate (by way of Senate sponsor Bill Nelson) and only needs the House’s OK.

The Hill’s Tony Romm summed up the bill’s situation:

Engel’s legislation would prohibit companies from faking their caller ID data in an attempt to deceive consumers — a process known as “spoofing.”

The congressman’s legislation also cleared the House Energy and Commerce Committee earlier last month with both Democratic and GOP support, after months of wrangling over concerns that the bill’s anti-spoofing rules could hamper federal investigators who hide their caller ID data to throw off possible suspects.

Spectrum inventory, caller ID bills head to House floor next week

It’s not exactly clear how it happened, but in the eleven days between when Eliot Engel announced he wasn’t a guaranteed “yes” on the health care reform bill, and the day it passed Congress, the bill seems to have become dramatically better for New Yorkers.

“New York was getting bupkus,” said Joseph O’Brien, Engel’s Director of Communications, from his office in the Bronx. “Now it helps states like New York — ‘do-gooder states’ — get their fair share.”

Engel, a member of the House Energy and Commerce Committee’s Subcommittee on Health, wrote in a March 10 editorial for the Daily News that the plan placed an unfair burden on New York. He explained:

New York has long been a leader in providing health coverage to its residents. We are a “do-gooder” state; we provide coverage to parents with incomes up to 150% of the federal poverty level – and to childless adults up to 100% of that level.The Senate bill’s language effectively punishes us for this generosity. It would raise the coverage level in states that have not acted as “do-gooders,” with the federal government paying 100% of the costs – while not expanding the matching rates in states such as New York. This will compound already serious budgetary problems for our state.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/opinions/2010/03/10/2010-03-10_fix_health_bill_or_lose_my_vote.html#ixzz0jEgwtjg6

But by March 21, when the bill came before the House, Engel was comfortable delivering a yes. In the days between, Engel met with White House staff as well as Senate Democrats. Some of the language regarding how Medicare coverage will be doled out was changed, and ended up being particularly beneficial to residents of Engel’s district.

While the reform will be felt in all 50 states, the Riverdale/Kingsbridge area has a particular stake in the measure because of its demographics.

The local area has many seniors, numerous healthcare and nursing care facilities, as well as a large number of healthcare workers who live here. In addition, nearly all local businesses are small businesses, from mom-and-pop stores, to restaurants to realtors….

The bill mandates that senior citizens on the Medicare Part D plan receive some government support to cover prescription drug costs over $2,250. Previously, seniors would have to pay out of pocket for costs over that amount until they had paid a total of $5,100 for prescription drugs. The “doughnut hole” left many seniors unable to make to ends meet.

I don’t know exactly how the negotiating went down during those eleven days, but Engel is pretty sure it was his lobbying that got the changes made.

“I believe that it was due to the strong stand which I took with House leadership and the White House that led to the seemingly more equitable share of Federal Matching Assistance Percentage Funding (FMAP) funds secure for our state,” Engel said in a recent press release.

UPDATE 3:01PM: I seem to have gotten a little bit of my reporting wrong. O’Brien pointed out via email that…

It’s not only people in Rep. Engel’s district who will benefit, but New York State as a whole. What the Riverdale Press was writing about as favoring Riverdale was the ‘donut hole,’ which affects the senior population. That was another part of the health care legislation that Rep. Engel favored, but which was already in the bill and unaffected by Rep. Engel’s negotiating.

Growing up in the Hudson Valley, I rarely thought about the nuclear power plant just a few towns away. But after the World Trade Center attack of 2001, suddenly everyone I knew was talking about the giant target-for-attack looming nearby.

“If Indian Point has a meltdown, the winds will carry fallout to us within half an hour,” my stepmom’s friend told me, aghast, before handing us an envelope with her plans in case terrorists attacked the plant. It included the best “escape routes” (seriously) for different places we might be at the time of the big attack. I was to keep them in the glove compartment of my car.

Rendezvous in Vermont (also seriously).

Of course, even if someone flew an airplane into Indian Point, a meltdown would have been unlikely. But the fate of the aging power plant has been debated ever since.

Entergy — Indian Point’s operator — is hoping to get the plant’s operating license renewed by the Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC) for another 20 years, but the NRC needs to see that Entergy is updating its aging structures.

When an underground pipe at Indian Point popped a steam leak, Eliot Engel and his colleagues from the Hudson Valley Congressional Delegation, were quick to note their overall disapproval of the state of the power plant.

From midhudsonnews.com:

Representatives Eliot Engel, Nita Lowey and Maurice Hinchey also chimed in about the safety of Indian Point. “This steam leak is another example of Indian Point being well past its prime, a 40 year old plant that was designed to last only 35 years,” said Engel.

Hudson Valley Congressional wants underground IP pipe replaced

Indian Point is a tricky issue for politicians. On the one hand, the plant employs almost 1,700 people and essentially has a strong safety record. On the other hand, every time the plant has an issue like the recent steam leak, it serves as a reminder to locals that they live near a facility that is capable of accidental catastrophe.

Clean, safe, affordable energy that scares the crap out of the people it serves.

Update: Nineteen minutes after the Academy Awards began, ABC (or Cablevision?) announced that it was returning service in blacked out areas.

If Eliot Engel is in the Bronx tonight, and he has Cablevision, he isn’t watching the Oscars. Most of New York’s 17th District is without ABC tonight as Disney and Cablevision collude to spare the region three hours of monotony.

Engel sent a letter to the FCC on Thursday requesting that they consider a “regulatory fix” that would prevent cable subscribers from losing their service when cable companies and television networks have disputes.

From multichannel.com:

He called viewers pawns in game of dividing up millions of dollars between the two companies: “Sadly, it is no coincidence that this deadline coincides with the morning of the Oscar broadcast, annually one of the most-watched programs. Again, the consumer winds up held hostage as a result,”

Engel Pushes FCC For More Retrans Oversight

But Engel’s motive in calling out Cablevision might be more than just annoyance at the channel blackout. Two years ago the Bronx became a veritable television war-zone when Verizon received approval to put in lines in the borough. Perhaps not coincidentally, since FIOS was launched in late 2005, Verizon has been Engel’s biggest contributor.

In fact, over the course of his career, Engel has received over $100,000 from Verizon Communications.

As for Engel’s constituents — the one I talked to said he appreciates that the channel’s blackout affects many of Engel’s constituents, but would prefer that his elected representatives stay out of business disputes.

“It’s aggravating in general not to have a channel that I watch,” said Dan Dash, of Rockland County. “But I don’t think it’s the government’s business to get involved.”

Of course, Dash’s sentiment might have been different had he planned on watching the Oscars. “I’ll be annoyed if I can’t watch Lost on Tuesday,” said Dash.

Eliot Engel sure can eat. In fact, so far in the 2009-2010 cycle, Rep. Engel’s campaign has spent $9,406 on restaurants. Check out the “Dining with Engel” map I made below…

View Dining with Engel in a larger map

Let’s break down some of Engel’s choices. First, his New York eats:

• Hunan Balcony: The Engel campaign has hit up this downright legendary Riverdale joint 19 times — spending a total of $1,487. That’s not hard to understand. There might be no better eatery within Riverdale’s tree-lined “not quite suburb, not quite city” borders.

• Liebman’s Deli: Eliot’s been quite outspoken about his love for Liebman’s.

• Hilton Rye Town Hotel: According to OpenSecrets, Engel spent money on food and lodging here. Nothing crazy about that, except that the hotel is only 30-45 minutes from where Engel lives (weird, I know).

Now how about his D.C. area haunts:

• McCormick and Schmick’s: No big deal, just a couple of dinners at the chain seafood spot…for a whopping $4,825. Those must be some mighty fine lobsters.

• Charlie Palmer Steaks: Yet another pricey venue, Engel spent $783 on one event here. In fact, I’m noticing a trend….

In this election cycle, Engel has seen just over $45,000 in donations from New York area contributors, while spending $2,752 on restaurants. Meanwhile, he’s spent almost $6,000 in the D.C. metro area, and pulled in $12,400. I’m no scientist, but either his New York contributors eat less, or Engel’s D.C. donors require fancier wooing.