Politicians are the worst, aren’t they?
They steal money from innocent constituents and from Hurricane victims; they make shady deals with other politicians; they have sexual relations with interns; they lead the country into illegal wars; they throw tickle slumber parties; they curse.
All they do is steal, and lie, and cheat, and sometimes they don’t even show up to throw the first pitch at the inaugural game for the Little League season. They never answer back phone calls complaining about the Q21 bus or the litter problem on the Queens Boulevard dog park. And they only march in the Memorial Day parade during election years!
Who will save us from these evil, evil men and women driving around in government-owned cars, parking in special parking spots, and complaining about working a full week? Who can we trust down in Washington DC or up in Albany??
Super Serrano!
This week, New York State Senator Jose Serrano and Assemblywoman Sandra Galef proposed new legislation that will “create detailed criteria on how member items are awarded and what qualifications need to be met.”
Before submitting an application for a member item, the group who would be receiving the funds would have to meet clearance standards set up by the attorney general. State agencies would also have to monitor how the money is being spent–something that isn’t currently being done. This, they hope, will detract politicians from directing money to friends, family members, or people who do construction on their new homes. They’re taking the lead of former Mayor Ed Koch, who has vowed to clean up Albany.
And if the legislation passes, it’s sure to piss off Greg Meeks, who, if the stories are true, has practically made a second income off of money he directed towards himself. And while the proposals are meant to clean up Albany’s act, national offices may follow suit in order to restore some dignity to politics (if that’s possible).
In any case, since Serrano’s papa is a colleague of Meeks’, it must make for awkward train rides from NY to DC–if Congresspeople travel together in packs, as I imagine they do. I also imagine them all eating together at one table in the Congressional lunchroom, all the downstate New York Congresspeople at the “dirty liberal” table, eating bagels and lox. The New York guys must be used to criticism from those from other states–but from someone on the inside? And from the Bronx, no less? Will Greg Meeks tell Jose to sit somewhere else? Will he have to keep the three or four representatives from Rhode Island entertained?