If the Tea Party has its way, it will represent the North Bronx in Congress come 2011.
Hey! Stop laughing. That’s rude. And anyway, you never know…when I was in high school, a guy ran for and won a seat on my town’s council under the Bull-Moose Party flag. So even though the Tea Party and Southern New York seem as unlikely of a match as a Red Sox fan and proper diction (dude, zing), it’s important to take this guy seriously.
His name is Anthony Melé. He was in the army. He mentions that a lot. He’s patriotic. He mentions that a lot, too. He’s actually from the South Bronx. He doesn’t mention that a lot. He lives in Rockland County, where he lost a 2007 election for Ramapo Town Supervisor — by a lot.
The header for his website (www.meleforcongress.com), lists the three most important things you should know about him.
- U.S. Army Veteran
- Patriot
- Constitutionalist
Yup, he’s a “Constitutionalist.”
Let’s take a look at some of his YouTube campaign videos. How about Melé on immigration?
First of all, you’ve gotta love that it starts with a drum major solo. Now that’s patriotic.
But that’s nothing compared to the money quote at 1:16. “If it isn’t possible to sneak into Disney World, how is it possible to sneak into the United States?”
Wow. Now that’s asking the tough question. I mean, surely if they can keep rascally budget-minded tourists out of Disney World’s 40-square miles, then the U.S. should have no problem keeping desperate employment/better-life-seeking immigrants from crossing our 1,969 miles of Mexican borderland. That just makes sense.
Some video production notes for the Melé staff (just trying to help out):
- In your video, you go back and forth between two shots — the audio would have us believe this was one seamless dialogue — but in one shot Melé is standing, and in the other he’s sitting.
- Also, it’s weird that in the “sitting” shot he starts each sentence looking in Linda’s direction, before turning and facing the camera. If I was Linda I would’ve been like “WTF, man? You’re supposed to be talking to me.”
In this next Melé classic, he’s talking to “Irene” about abortion. It’s kinda funny though, Irene seems to have the exact same porch as Linda (from the video above). The 17th must be crazy homogeneous, yo. Check it out:
But the real kicker is the campaign commercial from his website. It includes what may someday be known as the single best quote in New York campaign history.
At 1:27 — “I’ve provided security services to war-torn Africa, the Middle East, Israel and hot spots around the globe,” said Melé in his video. “I fall in love with America every time I return from one of those UNCLEAN NATIONS.”
Now that’s just worldly.